Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Why do they try to piss me off?

I can't even drive across town without some idiot turning his truck over and causing the most stupidest of delays.........and no....I do not give a monkeys ***** that he was thrown through the windscreen.........and then he had the cheek to waste the precious time of the ambulances who were probably needed elsewhere.
So here we have to transport yourself in Dubai, in a few easy steps:

1) Allow 3 hours for a 15 minute drive.
2) Let everyone cut you up and shunt you from lane to lane, remember....get there in 1 piece!
3) Keep portaloo/diapers with you at all times (especially if you have been popping Xenical).
4) Have straws handy, so you can slurp away during Ramadan without causing offence.
5) Do not pull off the road onto the hard shoulder unless you like to feel the delight of a Range Rover Spooooooooooort up your rear end.


Anonymous said...

join the gang chevygirl !

a few kms can take an hour...such is the driving pleasure one gets on Dubai's roads these days..

don't forget the jackasss who comes on your tail trying to shove his landcruiser up your proverbial throat.. or lets not forget the 2 wheeler who rides so close to your side that just a slight movement of your steering wheel might send him to heaven/hell and you to jail... or the fantastic auntie who can barely get her head above the steering wheel but insists on driving in the fast lane slower than a cockroach with diahorrea..oh well !

CG said...

what really annoys me is the fact that I can be on Khail Road coming from the country club, and PASS the exit to defense roundabout/trade centre/nad al sheba and then suddenly find myself behind a 4 hour tail back all waiting for the safa park/al quoz turn would have taken ONE copper to have stood on the Khail road by the first turn off waving us out of the way......but then again....he would be a flat copper very soon. forget that idea. Maybe an overhead flashing sign, saying "idiots have overturned up ahead, please prepare your diapers if you plan to continue this route, otherwise make a sharp right turn in 3 seconds and take all the bongos with you"

Anonymous said...

This town needs a 24-hour traffic radio station NOW! Dammit. And interactive maps on the Web so you can figure out whether it makes any sense to even leave your home. And SOME PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE HIGHWAYS!!!

Not that I have an opinion or anything.

Anonymous said...

My name is Vanessa Fong and i would like to show you my personal experience with Xenical.

I am 44 years old. Have been on Xanax for 2 days now. Very expensive pills. Doctor didn't tell me about the extremely nasty and embarrassing side effects. I didn't stay on it long enough to see results because I couldn't stand the leakage any longer. However, I'm sure this stuff would have drained every drop of fat from my body if I could just live in the bathroom for six months straight. Now it's being marketed over the counter as ALLI. NOT recommended!!!

I have experienced some of these side effects -
Oily orange discharge & a chemical odor so powerful that my husband could smell it through my clothes (and I was wearing a pad!).

I hope this information will be useful to others,
Vanessa Fong