Friday, February 03, 2006

I own Ibn Butt mall and Mad Jumeirah. I drive my ferrari down the hard shoulder of SZR at speeds that would amaze a rocket scientist. I have a credit card account with Citbank with debts running into the 46 million mark and they do not call me. My kids sit on the dashboard when I am driving, it seems the safest place for them to be. I have a ton of lovers, all who jump when they hear my name. I spend the week at my palace in Jumeirah, Thursday nights at my penthouse and Fridays at my farm in Khwaneej. I travel extensively, most journeys covering at least 3 countries. In my spare time I have my maids co-ordinate my wardrobe according to colour, size and fabric texture. I smoke when I want and can quit when I want. I am not addicted to anything but everything is addicted to me.I have a manicure and pedicure regularly and think nothing about spending a few thousand in the spa every wednesday afternoon. I walk like I own the world and people treat me accordingly. My dinner can only be served on a silver platter with a single yellow rose in a vase placed at 3 '0' clock. I make 300,000 profit on the stock market every day without ever feeling stressed. I have slept in a camp in Darfur for 3 years and avoided being a victim of genocide using the power of the mind as my only tool. My employees idolise me and my encounters with extraterrestrial life leave them in awe. My brain has the ability to analyze radio telescope data faster than the speed of light.
As a toddler I would explore the solar system and study the formation and evolution of planetary systems. I can knit a sweater while waiting at the traffic lights, and finish sewing a 3 piece mens suit in less than an hour.

6 comments:

Dots.. said...

Too bad you miss a lot of fun in your life then :P

BuJ said...

wow very nice!!!!
who wrote this?

also what's Darfur got to do with it?

tell me more!

kaya said...

.....andwhere the beck did my comment dissappear again....

Anonymous said...

I would like to know if you are referring to locals in this article?

cheers

CG said...

Anon, I am not referring to anyone. Read it again. Take a few valium, and hope that your vehicle does not come into contact with mine.

Long Distance said...

Multiple Personalities!
I warned you all!