UFF1 UFF2 UFF3

UFF 1

I am getting stinking mad with people complaining about the traffffffffic. Been there, done that, nothings going to change, police can't handle it, too many cars, too little fines, too many dickheads. They tell us they will solve it with some extra floating bridges and driverless trains (hoot). When you come off these 36 lane bridges you still need to squeeze back into the 2 lane roads awaiting you at the other end. How interesting. As for the trains, well, gee, are we excited or what? The prospect of driving to a station and finding parking, getting on a train and then walking in 118 degree heat and 150% humidity for 5 minutes and then queuing for a bus which will have standing room for 355 sweaty smelly hot people, leaves me wondering why I would do that. I would rather leave the house at 5 am and endure 3 hours in a cool car knowing that life really is sweet in a weird sort of way.

UFF 2

I remember shopping in Choithrams Al Rais centre when I was quite little. We used to go down to Al Rais to buy airline tickets, then go to Choithrams for audio cassettes which way back then cost 8 Dirhams, it was wicked but they could charge what they liked since there were very few places where you could pick up a Now thats what I call music 1980 tape. Does anyone remember those? They were dead cool. Then we would go down to Jumbo electronics, it was then what Plugins is today, actually it was all there was. Finally off down to Meena Bazaar for some material shopping and lastly Samosas for the trek across the sand back to the car. So I can guess that this Al Rais area has been going for 30+ years (need to check with Dad on that one).

Anyhoooooo...back to finding a point to all of this, I feel some sense of 'belonging' when I am there, even though todays visitors to that area mostly speak a Balkan language, I cannot help the nostalgia.
I was in the building delivering something so decided to run into the store for a few items. Around the back I saw someone standing there snipping her fingernails....I look down and see a box of nail clippers on the floor (I believe they retail for approx Dh.1.50). She looked up at me, then continued with her nails. I shuffled up alongside her and watched. She snipped every single nail and even managed to do her cuticles too....so skin and nails were all clipped and shaken to the floor. When she threw them back into the box she looked up at me again, this time in a rude way, and I asked her if she worked here. She replied that she did indeed. I then asked her why she had just done what I had seen and she said she was testing the clippers. This is where I hear voices inside my head calling out to me to strangle the stupppppid ass fucking bitch. Staying with a calm voice I told her that I did not believe it to be very hygenic. She remained silent. I then asked her if she thought it was hygenic. She said no. Then walked away. I called her back, when she turned around I checked her name badge. I then said "Lina, I think you may not have a job for long".
Moving on I saw some yummy looking doughnuts on the shelf. Knowing I would have some extra kids in my house today I asked for 4 of them. You know the ones with gooey sticky white fondanty icing on top. As she lifted up the paper bag I requested her to use a box instead. I explained that they were for the kids and you know kids, they don't like the icing to get all messed up. She just glared at me. THAT was it. I had screwed with her mind and she did NOT like it one bitty bit. She picked up a tiny box, the size that would fit one Danish pastry (aka Roses of the Prophet Muhammad) and proceeded to ram 4 doughnuts in. Pushing them down until they became one smushed lump of dough & icing. Then she flung the box at me and sneezed 4 times into the bakery shelf and wiped her nose on her arm.

I paid and left. I now have a box with a lump'a'dough on the counter.

UFF 3

According to Emirates today there are people who actually expect some sort of monetary reimbursement for having to vacate their flats in Jebel Ali Gardens. They are also demanding that someone should take responsibility for this. Let me try to understand this, that they rent a flat, get away with living in beautiful surroundings, Ibn Battuta on their doorstep and cheap rent. When their contract is suddenly not renewed and then is finally renewed but only for 6 months they expect somebody to pay them? So how much notice is required? If they find new premises to live in then they will have to leave suddenly. If they were given a years notice would it make any difference? You cannot start searching for a flat a year before you need it. Did I miss something here?