Monday, April 30, 2007

Serve me, that is all I want.

I have written about the sales assistants in Debenhams (City Centre) before. Their incessant singing brings me close to tears. Everywhere you go in the shop, including the dressing rooms will introduce you to a different version of 'my heart will go on'. Now it is worse. I had the dis-pleasure of waiting to pay while the guy on the till messed around, going up and down, trying to figure out how to get the visa machine working. His pitch got higher and higher until I was sure that Celine Dion herself was going to pop up and strangle him. If they really had a good enough voice then they would be singing in the Millenium Hotel by now. The lasses were bad, he brought a whole new meaning whistle while you work.

I went to HyperPanda (yep, don't feed them skittles) and grabbed a couple of kitchen appliances, in huge boxes. Wheeled them around the corner to Ikea. Once inside I waited to be escorted to the holding area to leave my goods, but no-one came, they stared at me like my knickers had dropped to my ankles. I asked the lady at the main area (with so many braces in her mouth, I swear they wrapped around her peanut brain too) where I could leave my trolley. She said OUTSIDE.


I said we used to leave it here. She said it could not be done anymore and I could go down to the Mezzanine floor, turn left, then right, then left and through the car park and around the corner and turn right and then left and then.....WHAT?
"Shall I just go to my car and save myself some time?" I asked.
YES she said looking through me. "Well, if I go to my car I will probably not bother coming back, it does not feel worth it. And I only needed to buy enough furniture to kit out a compound of show houses but I won't bother (a bit OTT, I know, I am sure she didn't know I was only there to pick up a takeaway of shrimp sandwich for my son)".
OK, said she.


I hate her. I really do.

*all sales assistants in todays episodes are flipflops*


BuJ said...

ask her to pronounce "forty five" and say "what?" at the end of every "attempt".


Jin said...

Whether you were buying aenough furniture for a small compound or a sarmie is totally irrelevant - if IKEA have removed the 'trolley parking bay' then the least they could do is put up a bloody big notice informing their shoppers of its demise!
And..........put your fingers in your ears when approaching the singing cashier - maybe they'll get the message!

kaya said...

Gee pipe point pipe,
putang ni ulol
and to really get their attention. Tell me my dear, is it true that you will have sex with anythinbg that moves?

CG said...

I am on a mission these days, cos I cannot stand any more flipflop sales assistants. It all started when one of them said something extremely cruel to my daughter...I exploded. the bitch thought that rocks had fallen from the sky. I told her then that she was would be eternally sorry for her words. I believe she must have been as she boarded her flight to Manila last Thursday with a one way ticket in her hand.
I shall continue to eradicate.

i*maginate said...

Why do you deal with women? Men are easier in this part of the woods...

and there are some fit guys in ikea by the way!