Birthday greetings........

Wishing Kaya an extra special (wink wink) birthday...........

Many happy returns from your fellow bloggers.
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Eid Mubarak

ding a ling ling

Phone rings......

Hello
I need your fucks.
Pardon?
Your fucks. Give me your fucks.
Can you please repeat yourself? I did not quite catch that.
Number of fucks.

Given the seriousness of his tone, and his lack of telephone/language skills, I allowed the lewd caller a few seconds more.

What number shall I give you?
Fucks. MADAM, you no understand. I need to send you fucks immediately.
Hmmmm, are you sure?
MADAM, please give me your fucks machine number.
OHHHHHH, my FAX number? dohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I am back. ugh

Ok ok. enough of the gossiping. Yes I very nearly lost my grip on this earth. The check in counter tried in vain to take every ounce of my strength. They failed and I made it back home just in time to succumb to a very nasty virus indeed. Thankfully I am now on the mend and feeling slightly more like myself. I shall soon be bitching away as good as before. My arms are bruised and battered and my veins shall hopefully re-surface.

See you all soon.

ONLINE CHECK-IN

At the airport, please refrain from using the 'online check-in' desk, unless you have checked in online. Is that simple and clear?
If on the other hand you decide to go to that counter because it is empty and then proceed to spend 25 minutes discussing seat arrangements and more, while 5 of your kind check in at the the regular counter, do not expect to see some rather pisssy looking faces behind you. If you do see the pisssy faces, do not look at them in amazement and declare that the delay is not your fault. If you do say such things and also add that the person behind you was giving you bad looks, then do not look so surprised when the person says to you that they were just surprised that it took so long as this is the queue for checked-in online folk. "Online? what is that?"
OFFS, jump off this earth and die. I hate all of you. Stupid people walking on my stupid life making it a stupid hell. I am pissed beyond words.